okay so i was like legit at the point where i was going to start fucking crying in class because i’m so bad at design and i can’t resolve anything
like i have a couple of designs that i really liked? but they’re not design everything is a sculpture rather than design and i’m so fucking scared they’re not going to fit my brief they’re not going to work i’m going to fail so fucking badly
see. sculpture. not design, sculpture. something about design being art without the chaos. idk. this was art, not design. bleh.
this was the first thing i managed to design to the brief, a week to the deadline because i’m a dumbass that can’t fucking design for shit.
i had to talk about it in front of the class and i choked up and stuttered and blushed and everything stopped and i had to sit back down because i can’t talk in front of people. it was embarrassing as shit
at least my tutor wasn’t there to see it
and then i put this piece of shit together and i’m well fucking great the tutor is coming around to look at all of our designs and he’s going to yell at me for being bad at design and then i’m going to fail and hate myself forever.
but no wow apparently this hits my brief like a charm. like, my tutor was all over it and even took it over to my tutor from the last project and was talking about how it simulates a pyramid and it’s really interesting from every angle and it incorporates fluid motion and the juxtaposition of line and curve and a quality of transition between the scale and a whole fucktonne of other stuff i don’t understand but probably should.
do i understand design any more than i did before now?
but the important thing here is that i’m apparently doing something right, i’m not a useless cunt that can’t get anything right, and i have this really cool looking doohicky that everyone thinks is awesome and i made it.
(yes alice that is your shirt i’m sorry it’s really warm and noko left it at my house)